i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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