Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
