I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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