I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
