On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
