i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
