you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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