you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
