I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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