I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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