you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
