her vagine was all disorganized.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
