In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
