I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
