Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
