Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
