lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
