So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
