No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
