so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
