They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
