she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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