He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
