i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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