no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
