Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
