Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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