The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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