ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
