I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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