Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
