my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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