S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
