Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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