I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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