OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
