Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
