If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
