I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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