Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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