So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
