I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
