Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
