you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
