I think I am morally bankrupt
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
