Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
you made out with another girl for some wings
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
