i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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