ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
