who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
