I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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