bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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